gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize