Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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