She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
