I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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