Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize