I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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