remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
