i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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