I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
