Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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