I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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