The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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