Fuck appropriateness.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
