I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
