Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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