we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize