How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
