I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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