yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Randomize
