just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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