he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
