I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize