i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
no, he came in my armpit
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
