pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize