wakey wakey hands off snakey
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
