I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
birth control should be required to get into college
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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