i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
