so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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