ugly people sure do ruin things
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
