Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
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