This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Princesses don't give blow jobs
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
