Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
