dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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