btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
