you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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