I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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