butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
