I got chris browned last night
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Randomize
