I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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