He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
