You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
