You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
