he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
