Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just found puke in my bra..
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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