You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Randomize
