Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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