Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
soo... how was my night?
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