Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
She announced her abortion via fbk
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
