we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
