I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
