Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
