wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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