Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
