Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
