You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
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