if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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