If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
