if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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