I just made out with a guy for $7.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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