Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
