absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I need to wash the frat house off of me
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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