It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
this hospital has no fireball
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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