The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
