just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
