The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
