She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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