i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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